Your Children Don't Want to Pray?
Part 2 (for Part 1 go to https://protectyourthaghr.wixsite.com/home/dont-turn-your-children-into-hypocrites)
As parents of children who have reached puberty, it can be extremely terrifying and shocking if we feel from them anything that might suggest that they are reluctant to pray. This is especially true if we have encouraged them to pray regularly since they became 7 years old. Hopefully, we tried our best to ease them into praying 5 times a day, over the course of 3 years, allowing them to join prayers etc. to make it easier if the need arose.
Muslim scholars have mentioned that there are different types of guidance, two of which are 'The guidance of Irshād (instruction)' and 'The guidance of Tawfīq (Divine assistance)'. Before we start despairing that maybe we went wrong somewhere and that's the reason why our children possibly don't see the value of salah as much as we would like them to, I think that we need to realise that the guidance we have offered our children throughout their childhood is the guidance of 'instruction'. However, now that they have reached puberty, when they stand on their prayer mat before their Lord, they need to think about why they are there. Is it because they want to be or because that is what is expected of them as children who have been raised in a practising Muslim family? Again, if it's the latter then we shouldn't despair but instead we should continue our 'guidance of instruction' by explaining to them that what really matters is not which answer they would give but that they begin to have conversations with Allah about how they really feel. Our instructions to them should never end but they should understand that they should ask Allah for the guidance of Tawfiq as only He can give it.
We, as parents, spouses, siblings, children, relatives, colleagues, friends or brothers and sisters in faith, need to accept that what Allah Ta'ala expects us to provide and what we need to have sabr with and what we have been providing so far is The guidance of Irshād (instruction):
He (subḥānahu wa taʿālā) said,
“And indeed, [O Muḥammad], you guide to a straight path…” (TMQ 42:52)
The guidance of Tawfīq (Divine assistance) is not in our control:
Hence, Allāh (subḥānahu wa taʿālā) said to the Prophet (sall Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam),
“You surely cannot guide whoever you like ˹O Prophet˺, but it is Allah Who guides whoever He wills, and He knows best who are ˹fit to be˺ guided.” (TMQ 28:56)
(Translation seems correct and similar to the tafsir of Ibn Kathir).
Also, this isn't the same as giving our children the choice to pray or not to pray but rather it's helping them realise that they have a choice to go through life praying with Allah's guidance (sincerely) or praying without His guidance (insincerely).
Part 2 (for Part 1 go to https://protectyourthaghr.wixsite.com/home/dont-turn-your-children-into-hypocrites)
Wal-hamdu lillahi rabbil 'alamin (March 2023)
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