Advice to Our Muslim Daughters Regarding Going to University
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Here are a few issues that our young, praying, hijabi, practising daughters should be aware of. Fathers and mothers who witnessed or experienced these when they were at university should try their best to find an alternative way for their children as I know from relatives that things are far worse now. Remember, our ummah's revival does not depend on our academic success. If it did then Allah's final messenger (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) would not have been illiterate and this religion would not have been carried on the backs of the poor and slaves as well as on the shoulders of men who had no civilisation worth mentioning or even conquering. At the most, it is a means of earning rizq, which we know has been fixed by Allah Ta'ala anyway. In fact, psychologists have said that there is no link between IQ/intelligence and wisdom.
Beware the old lecturers who stare at your chest believing that you are a 'perk' of the job.
Beware the fitnah of the young PhD students who have been tasked to help you or the lecturers in their 30s, who you may find yourself alone with or who look you up and down.
Beware your fellow students: the Muslims, the mushriks, the Africans, the white guys and those of mixed-race. Those who insist on walking with you to lectures, those who wait for you after they finish and even turn up alone for group work while the others stay away.
Beware the fitnah of the brothers in the Islamic society and even those who you see regularly at Friday prayers.
Black, white, brown, young, old, Muslim, disbeliever, male, female, straight, gay, rich and poor: over the course of 3 years, Shaytan will have plenty of time to throw every possible temptation at you. Even if you come out not having committed any major sin, you will still have to work extremely hard to become the person you used to be. I remember some good sisters whose faces had become dark with sin by the end of the 3 years.
May Allah Ta'ala give us the ability to find alternative means for our children and may He reward us with abundant good if we give up these opportunities for His sake, and may He replace them with something better. Ameen.
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​Wal-hamdu lillahi rabbil 'alamin (February 2023)
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Umm Hafab
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